Practice Trust Until You Trust... Trust!

When it comes to trust, I’ll be the first to admit I find it hard.

Correction, found it hard… past tense.

I still have my moments, but just recently I discovered what trust really means, and why it’s crucial to achieving what you want and how it’s vital to alleviating feelings of anxiety, and hopelessness.

You see, when we are stuck in anxiety, it’s a sign we have a fear of the future. Now, that future can be close or far away, but the fact is, anxiety means we’re looking ahead at an unknown while being in a vibration of  “this is going to be bad”… hence, the anxiety of it all.

The same is true for hopelessness. It’s a sign we have a depression or a certain level of sadness about the future. Again, that future could be close or far away. And again, the fact is hopelessness means we’re looking ahead at an unknown while being in a vibration of “nothing will work”… hence, hopelessness.

These feelings may be strong and debilitating, or they can be mild and annoying. But the feelings are there. And let’s be honest, when we have those feelings how much are we truly achieving in our lives? It feels like we’re on a hamster wheel, waking up each day, doing something (or nothing), but getting nowhere fast.

Enter… trust.

Now, before we dive head first into trust, I need to make a disclaimer. The results you can get from staying in trust are real, but… there are other things required in order to manifest (or create, if the word manifest is too much), the life you want and the absence of anxiety and hopelessness. There is much work to be done, and trust is a small part of the whole.

For example, if you trust that you’ll be a millionaire, but continue to work your minimum wage job without any additional goals, dreams, intentions or most importantly actions, in order to leave that job, all the trust in the world won’t save you.

Trust, is one piece of the puzzle.

When we are in anxiety or hopelessness, there is an absence of trust. A lack of trust in ourselves to be able to get out of the feeling or situation, a lack of trust that there is some divine guidance to listen to (if we could just be still enough to listen), a lack of trust that others can help us out, a lack of trust that even if we DID get what we wanted, that wouldn’t be able to have it. And even a lack of trust that if we got what we wanted, that something else would have to be sacrificed.

Can you see? You simply can’t have trust and anxiety together. And you can’t have trust and hopelessness together.

You must choose.

Trust vibrates at a resonance far higher than anxiety and hopelessness. Try it for a second and see! Think back to a time where you felt so trusting that nothing could have shaken it, ever. Notice, how did that feel? Now, think of the feeling of despair, hopeless and anxiety. How does that feel?

Think about it now, could you ever make these things feel the same? Could anxiety ever feel light and freeing? Could trust ever feel heavy and dark?

Sure, a betrayal of trust could feel like the latter, but I’m talking about actual organic trust. You can see quite clearly, trust vibrates (AKA feels) different to anxiety and hopelessness.

Just like two songs playing at once – let’s say, one in a minor key, and one in a major key - the frequencies becomes distorted. It’s hard to hear anything, except the sound of chaos.

So now that we know we can’t have both together, as I said – we must choose.

I want to share with you a story about how I had to choose, and how that choice felt hard and “not me”, but how finally surrendering and dropping into deep trust and practicing the work of staying there, created what I would call… a fucking miracle.

Disclaimer, it’s not a miracle; it’s simply what happens when you do ”the work”.

Ok, story time.

11 years ago I started my first business, Nutrition and Personal Training. In fact, it may be how you found my website. Now, I was pretty successful for the market I was operating in. It was local – small town, Hamilton NZ. It was a 6 Figure Business, something typically unheard of amongst Personal Trainers where I’m from (I hope that’s changed now). But despite its success, and the results I helped my clients with I always had anxiety that it was all going to crumble. I never trusted myself to be able to continue the success, and I never trusted that there was anyone supporting me (god, universe, people… whatever). And slowly, over time, that trust wore me down. And I quit the biz.

Sure, I had the success and I could have taken it further. But without trust in myself, my higher self, and other people  - it was a grind that felt like a failure.

So, I did what most people do when they get to this level (with these feelings), I tried to change the business model, I changed pricing, I changed program offerings, I changed work hours… but to no avail. Don’t get me wrong, everything I tried worked, and was profitable… but that lack of trust kept me feeling like it was all about to fall apart any minute.

After quitting the biz, I resurrected my old copywriting career. I worked for More FM and Channel Z in the 90’s, and had enjoyed a 10-year copywriting career that began in high school of all places. Fast-forward to 2016 and I decided to pick it up again. But once again, the anti-trust monster came along for the ride.

It was like groundhog day.

I was going great (… surprisingly great IMO), but I didn’t trust that the success would continue, or grow. Funnily enough, I actually ended up going flat broke somewhere during that time. My lack of trust had vibrated out and attracted a situation where I finally got what I asked for… no clients. Ouch.

I walked into the WINZ office (for my American readers, that’s going on welfare), with my head hanging in shame. I knew I could be wildly successful (I mean, I had already proven it), but I couldn’t shake the “shit” that had followed me from the nutrition biz to the copywriting one. At the time, I couldn’t see the shit I was carrying. I had even done 3 years of high level mentoring and growth work at a but still couldn’t see that the problem was trust.

During my 2 months on welfare, I managed to somehow pull my head out of my ass and recognize that my nutrition biz shit had followed me. I can’t remember what it was, but something just made me go… “Oh, ok… I’m dragging my old self into my new self life” It was that light bulb of my awareness that started me on a whole new journey.

I was now ready to see which patterns were following me around. Which patterns I was creating. And what stories of falsehood (self-limiting beliefs) I was telling myself to create these patterns. Finally, all the high-level mentoring, and personal growth learning slowly but surely, fell into place.

I started getting more clients, consistent clients. I was able to raise my fees to a level that someone of my skillset, my passion, and my whole being was deserving of. I attracted a particular player into my space who would eventually become my most trusted advisor and “sales rep” (fyi, a title utterly beneath who this guy really is). But it all required a level of trust. And to be honest, I still didn’t have it… but I had started to embrace it in a messy “oh fuck this is scary” kinda way. I was on the trust train… it was bumpy but there was no turning back.

And so this continued, right up until March 2018.

Yes, for just a little under two years, I had to PRACTICE trust.

Between March and August 2018, I was finally starting to “get it”. But don’t worry, I still showed an incredible amount of distrust to myself, my higher self and my most trusted advisor. And although I was now consistently doing great, I still had that mild niggly anxiety. It would show up from time to time; in an email reply, a conversation or even a thought.

And then, things exploded. I was booked up two months in advance and my advisor said, well… I’m going to have to hire a second writer to refer clients to.

Fuck that. I had a business to grow, I was going to get that wait list down myself and create a whole new business model.

So I swallowed my fear and hired staff. It was fucking scary. My last 4 attempts at hiring help were abysmal. I may have started to trust myself, but trusting another mere mortal to do my job? WTF? Are you kidding me?

I had no choice. It was expand into my higher self, or not.

I chose to expand. I chose to trust.

And it was good.

Great even.

Fucking phenomenal.

Within the space of 7 days, I doubled my business, while simultaneously reducing my work hours and providing the gift of a handsome regular weekly income to a worker in a country where the cost of living is 78% lower than my own country. It all felt so good. Why hadn’t I done this trust thing sooner?

There were a few hiccups along the way. But at every turn, I turned back to trust. And it was fucking hard. My lower self wanted to keep writing the story of “See, you can’t trust another person”, but my higher self roared – no, he’s got this. You can trust him, you can trust you, and you can trust me (the higher self).

We muddled through the problems with grace. And really, they weren’t problems, because I simply trusted all would be well.

Now, here’s something that blew me away.

During the time of training this guy, and changing the biz model ultra-fast, the leads stopped flowing in. It was bizarre. My lower self would have said “see, this level of client success can’t continue”… but my higher self said, no… you asked for this. And I did. I put a strong intention out to the universe that I didn’t want any enquiries until I had tidied up the admin and biz changeover.

Check this shit out…

The very day… nay, the very minute (I am not fucking joking here guys), the very minute I paid my trusted advisor his referral commission in advance (so I could tidy up admin backlog), the first enquiry came through. The next morning, I had 5 more. The flood-gates had opened again.

Now this may sound fucking strange to some, perhaps logical to others – but I trusted the universal energy / god / angels to slow the enquiries while I cleared the “mess” to create a seamless system.

It didn’t just happen once.

And this is why I’m writing to you today.

It happened again, and I want to tell you. This shit is fucking real.

I did not believe, I did NOT trust. I was JUST like you.

So anyway, after those enquiries were booked… there were no more coming through. And I thought – for a brief second – “This is strange”, and then I remembered… no, the universe has my back now. I trust. So I held on, and followed my business plan. I took my first Friday off (in 11 years of self-employment) and enjoyed a day of exercise, sauna, massage, lunch and soothing cranial.

And on that very same day. The day where I spent 5 hours out of the office and 2 hours in it…

… I booked 10 jobs. 

I checked my emails on Saturday morning… and for the first time since I started this copywriting business… there was nothing to be done. No enquiries (none needed), and no things I had to attend to. It was what I asked for all along. I just had to put my full un-waivering trust into the “whatever” energy, that it was looking after my higher self.

As a Copywriter, working at the level I do for my niche, I need that space and time to regroup my braincells. My soul tells me what I need, and then what’s left is for me to trust that what I asked for will be done. As my current mentor Katrina Ruth says – It is already done.

So to you, the anxious, hopeless feeling, untrusting, not sure whether you’ll achieve what you want… I say to you.

Practice trust.

Practice it until you are good at it. Be prepared for it to have its ups and downs. Be willing to embrace that, trusting at all times it’s part of the process.

And how? That’s your journey of discovery. My way was my way. My timeframe was my timeframe. Yours will be yours. Own your own journey.

But for the love of freedom… practice trust, until you trust, trust.