It’s Not What You Think You Deserve… It’s What You Want To Think You Deserve!
Have you ever felt like you don’t deserve something? Or even sabotaged something you really wanted because of some nagging pull that it wasn’t available for someone like you?
Recently my soulmate and I were having this very same conversation. And I thought you might find the outcome of the conversation quite interesting and enlightening, if you should find yourself blocking good things because of your struggle to “deserve” it.
The idea that we don’t deserve something is in fact, a surface level feeling to something much deeper. And what is that something? Well, it’s unique to you. And it could be anything…
… Perhaps a parent told us we didn’t deserve a pet rabbit when we were younger, and it formed a belief around who we were and what our ‘level’ of deserving is.
… Maybe we tried to achieve something and got knocked down, while someone jeered “you didn’t deserve it anyway”.
… And, it’s possible that something completely unrelated to deservedness (like self-worth, purpose, comparison etc. has shaped your view towards what level you deserve to receive something.
Or, you could have a problem with receiving in general.
I don’t want to sound and vague and unhelpful, but the truth is – “deserving” is never about the thing. It’s always about the thing that started it all.
So, think back now. When was the first time you remember feeling undeserving.
Can you think of a time before that?
Imagine now, what about a time before that?
Find the earliest point of your pattern and you’ll have a nice starting point to become aware of your lack of ability to deserve.
Be aware of it, awake to it, and create a new “action” that blocks the pattern you always create when you unconsciously experience it.
But there’s something else to know.
It’s not just about understanding our deserving blocks.
And this is what I was talking about with my man.
I said to him…
“Why do you have to deserve it?”
Why can’t you just want it, work towards it and have it?
And so I ask you…
Why do you have to deserve it?
Are you trying to balance out some sort of Karma? Do you feel like you’re in some sort of Karmic deficit and you must be punished before you can have the thing? Once you balance out the evil you have bestowed upon this oh so righteous earth, then you can have the thing you desire?
Do you? Do you honestly feel undeserving to that level?
If so… Go find the source of that!
In the meantime, what about just having the thing… instead of deserving the thing? Does that take the pressure off? Did you work for the thing? Yes? Did you ask for the thing you worked for? Yes? Then have the damn thing! Do the work on the guilt and the lack of deserving… but just have the thing in spite of it all.
But there’s more.
What is your level of deserving?
Your level - not someone else’s damn level.
What do you WANT to deserve?
In my last business I got stuck at $100k. Now, there were many other factors into play for walking away from a 100k biz (musings for another blog), and the same thing was set to happen with my current copywriting business. I hovered to $100k, and it was clear – it was what I thought I deserved.
So I had to do the work to raise the deserving level. And I did… and it was hard. But now the work is done, it’s done. And I’m now blessed with the wisdom to repeat it at the next deserving block, and the next and the next.
And this is the same with my partner. I’ve watched him raise his own deserving level over the past 3 years. And he continues to be challenged by new pathways that need to be opened up. So, he keeps opening his mind to it.
There are no “steps” to follow, but simply this.
Declare what you want to deserve.
Put the practice and the work in to achieve it.
Once you’ve achieved it… put the practice and the work in to raise your deserving level so you stop sabotaging it. Practice daily. Catch yourself, every thought, every feeling of the “less than deserving old you” – become aware of it and let it be an “alarm clock” to remind you, now is not the time to fall asleep at the wheel. When old patterns show up, do a different action (no matter how hard), when and old thought shows up, challenge it immediately.
You deserve what you say you deserve.
So, say it. And march bravely into it. Because once you’ve decided to deserve whatever you say… the work begins.