Are You Killing Your Relationship Over Food?
A couple of months ago, my man and I had a bit of an “issue”.
This issue had been running for about 16 months as a repeated pattern. The cycle would go like this …
Super extra happy → headaches + mood swings → weight gain.
During our latest episode, my partner had stopped talking to me and had simultaneously created a story in his head that I had told him to fuck off.
Our relationship nearly ended.
But it was enough of a wake up call for him to start to understand what his body was doing and how that was affecting his mental health and our relationship.
And that’s the point I want to make today …
You may think that eating well and exercising is the way to a slim body, weight loss or toned muscles. But that is the absolute lowest reason to be focusing on. When we focus on health instead, not only do we GET the weight loss anyway, but we also get a better quality of life. A focus on health will always yield the best result.
So, what did we discover about my partner?
He has food intolerences. There are certain foods that when he eats them he becomes very inflamed. He gets all puffy and ‘fat’ looking and his brain goes into a meltdown. We have to let the food clear his system and he comes right. And it clears his body in a not so pleasant way usually. I remember one day he came to my house and his face was all red ... icecream! grr. Then a day later - the mood symptoms showed up.
We are lucky we spotted this health issue – because it was a relationship deal breaker.
So this is my question to you.
How are your bad, or stubborn food choices affecting your relationships?
The most common thing I see is that us as women we get very angry and guilty when we eat low quality foods and we take that out on our partners. This kinda needs to stop – it’s not their fault you made the decision. And equally it’s not their fault that you’ve decided to make some healthy eating changes. Your man is not interested in your complaining or moods over food. You need to learn how to manage your mindset and attitude.
I ate all the bad foods through all of 2015 … life goes on – no guilts or mood swings. Sure, I gained 7kg … but still no moods and no drama for my man. Why? Because I make the changes I need to make and get on with it, any negative attitude I have with that … is MY problem. Not his.
Another common issue is that we might start a weight loss program and then force our partner into our choices. We might not buy ice cream or biscuits just to “keep them out of the house”. The affects your partner and the choice he would like to make with his own free will.
And finally, as in the case with my partner. We see people eating rubbish, and just not quite living up to their potential. That potential might be how loving we are or how productive we are. In fact, one time, I had a so-called “healthy” vegan buffet. I recall becoming very inattentive at the event I was at and then I picked a fight. MSG response at it’s finest. (P.S Those vegan buffets are not healthy, sorry)
So, as you head out into the world today – ask yourself if your choices around your food are serving you for a happy healthy relationship … or a shitty miserable one.
I wish only the happy healthy ones for you!