Binge & Emotional Eaters - This Strategy Is Far More Powerful than Willpower
I was working with a B.E Free Program client last week on her Binge Eating triggers and something interesting came up which I thought I would share as a key insight for you.
On B.E Free there are a range tools in place to assist clients in minimizing and eliminating binge triggers and also to help to understand their specific binge triggers at a greater depth.
So, on this particular day my client felt activated by something that someone had told her she “should” be doing. She felt really bad and so she started on the quick processing tools from her program to get more clarity on this feeling - she knew that it would fester into a Binge Trigger later on that evening, so she decided to get on top of it in the moment.
She discovered, that although she was angry at this woman, the REAL issue was that she was deeply stuck with feelings of not being good enough. She was being asked to be someone she wasn’t and she felt useless because she wasn’t being that type of person.
Not so much when you start to understand Self-Responsibility
Once my client took responsibility that these were HER feelings, and no one actually thrust them upon her, we were able to get to work and clear the root cause very easily.
Let’s just stop and polarize the concept for a minute
A lack of responsibility would make us say things like: “SHE made me feel bad, she is an awful person” - We would be blind to the real message, and the thing that is REALLY hurting us and stay stuck in our funk.
Self-responsibility would encourage us to say things like: “I feel bad after that conversation, I wonder what internal button I am holding onto that got pushed”. This encourages us to FIND the real truth through our REAL pain which will allow us to get OUT of our funk.
The truth always sets you free.
The world is your mirror, whenever you find yourself activated by something, it’s typically because there is already a pain button sitting deep within you – no one makes us feel any particular way – we create these feelings internally.
So what I did with this client was to run through the Personalities, Values, Positive & Negative Archetypes of all people involved. By understanding the roles that these 4 things were adding to her situation she finally saw the REALITY of what had happened - instead of the stories she was making up.
By using the tools, not only did we help clear her stories, but we also put an action plan in place to assist in her managing her staff better that uses the gifts of who she really is, instead of asking her to change into something she is not.
And I’m not kidding when I say our coaching allowed her to drop the story right there in our coaching. It happened that quickly – it happened quickly because we dropped blame which allowed us to see the truth and as I said, The truth will set you free (a quote from the bible)
There are so many wonderful messages here!
- Self-Responsibility leads to greater healing and getting out of our shit.
- Understanding ourselves assists in relieving a lot of emotional stress
- Understanding ourselves in the presence of others assists in relieving emotional and mental stress.
- Relieving mental/emotional stress, reduces our binge triggers.
- These concepts don’t just change our relationship with food, they change our relationship with our job, colleagues, self and life!
Binge Eating naturally melts away without you needing to follow a diet or being a lifetime member of Overeaters Anonymous when you get down to the REAL underlying triggers. It was certainly my experience after having B.E.D for 26 years and it has been my clients’ experience so far.