Emotionally Eating (Drinking) Your Bad Week
It happens to most of us, some of us more than others: The Bad Week!
I was working with a couple of clients yesterday and one had declared a ‘bad week’ while the other was having a grumpy morning because his egg yolk broke before poaching.
But if we break it down, we find that neither of them were being smacked by life’s big stick, it was happening internally, which means it can be corrected interally.
And why is this so important?
When we get stuck in that complaining "FML" state and declare how awful our week or day was then what happens?
May of us will turn to shitty food or alcohol to drown our sorrows.
But what if there weren’t sorrows to drown? How would that change our relationship with food? How would that change our results in our body? How would that change our life?
Process Your Week Instead of Drowning It Or Drowning In It
Last night I did an exercise with my bad week client. There were 4 things that “happened to her” and she’d already had some treat fun on St Paddy’s day and she said “Can I just drink tomorrow night, I’ve had a shitty week”.
So, the first thing we want to ask ourselves is: Will this actually solve anything? Will adding extra calories and toxins to my body actually fix the drama of the week? Will it allow me to have what I said I wanted from my health or my body?
And the next thing is to go through and process each event that contributed to your ‘shitty week’ and understand what was going on. I’m going to use her example, but with some changes to protect identity. Here are all the things that made up the crap week:
1. Customer made her cry
2. Another Customer with a bad debt was being difficult
3. Friend got in her face about something she was doing
4. Another friend is going to hospital (for a fairly common infection)
So I went through this list of events with her to help her process. I won’t go through it in detail here, but it is something I offer to clients as part of their program. I’ll just summarise the shift.
No one makes you cry
The customer was being very demanding (try ringing 4 times in half an hour) and told this girl the previous person she had was better. This customer was being unreasonable. The customer didn’t make her cry though, she made herself cry by not understanding what type of personality was on the other end of the phone. Why did this girl cry? Because a deep pain button was pushed, the button of “I’m not good enough”. But overall, not a bad week does a bitch make ok. There are a ton of demanding types in the world; are we going to let all of them take control of your body goals? Nope, didn’t think so.
No one makes you stress out
Again, no real cause for sorrow drownings. Customer #2 is in the wrong, she has a bad debt and has had one for years. The only fault here is that no one has written this debt off yet and told this woman to get lost. You will always have to deal with pain in the ass types who feel like they’re entitled to something when they’re not. But are they entitled to YOUR body and its outcomes? No.
No one makes you feel angry
Sure, sometimes we don’t like people sticking their nose into our business, but this sure as hell does not equal “bad week” status does it? My client was very activated by what her friend said. The reason why was because another pain button was hit, and that particular pain button was a cold hard truth that my client already believed about herself. No one likes to hear things they are trying to escape from. But the thing is, the world is our mirror and if something is upsetting us, it’s a great gift for us to be able to turn our attention inwards and ask ourselves why this has pushed our button, and did it push a deeper pain button. Is having someone show worry or care and you not wanting to hear the truth really a ‘drowning your week’ excuse?
Someone else's bad week is not necessarily yours to own
Ok, so I get that we care deeply for our friends, that’s a GOOD thing. But why are we lumping someone else’s illness into OUR bad week? Would you not say that they are having a worse week than you? I actually see happen a lot, someone else is having a rough time but the ‘carer’ ends up emotionally eating, drinking or performing less than optimal self-care for their own bodies. Here’s a question; how are YOU honouring those who are sick by putting shit into your body? They’re sick and you’re trying to make yourself sick? Show care and love for your friends, but keep yourself healthy and well in the process. This is THEIR bad week, not yours, you are caring for them, not a martyr; don’t make their suffering all about you.
Sometimes we need help getting out of our own head so we can process our ‘bad week’ a little better. Life is not some crazy asshole that wakes up everyday pointing its finger at you. It is our own internal representation of the world that makes a week ‘bad’ or ‘good’. It comes from inside, therefore it can be corrected from the inside. Life will never be perfect, but your processing of your emotional up and downs will smooth it out.
Good emotional hygiene means that we feel the pain first, but then we transition out of the pain and we either let it go, or process it and find learning and meaning so we can grow our emotional intelligence. So it’s actually normal to feel like crap.
But when we start to compound our crap on top of other crap ... and then self-medicate with food crap what happens?
We don’t achieve our body goals, and we feel like crap (AKA unhealthy, sluggish, bloated etc)
And we end up with something worse than a crap week ...
That my friends, is called a crap life.